Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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