Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
