Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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