because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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