there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
