you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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