I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
pray to the hookup gods
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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