I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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