and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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