I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
