Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
