JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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