Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize