Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
