I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
whose ass print is on the piano?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
