i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Is Oprah even human
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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