Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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