Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
