i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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