That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
