I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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