Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
