weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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