im so drunk with asians
where?
always
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My breasts were aching with rage.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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