i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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