spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize