tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
