dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
