So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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