it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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