like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
