goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I fill condoms, not promises.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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