We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize
