Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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