I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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