At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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