How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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