I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Your penis caused this!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize