Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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