It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
