i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
