Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
