Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You took a bar mat shot.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
