In the future we'll all be gay
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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