I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
