Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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