Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
