We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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