Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
