My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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