I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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