Don't you send me to vm
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
