he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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