I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
