How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
