1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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