I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
