You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
