what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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